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Calista Ocean

What if what I say is important to me really isn't?


"Action expresses importance."

~ Mahatma Ghandi


It's not unusual to think about what's important to me, but it's interesting that there are things that I say are important to me that barely cross my mind. Perhaps it's because I want some things to be important to me, or at least believe I should care deeply about certain things that society tells me I should. But truthfully, my actions often reveal a different truth. What if what I say is important to me really isn’t?

Take environmental stewardship. It’s a cause that undoubtedly matters to me. My daughter, who majored in Environmental Science & Policy (and is pursuing her Masters Degree now in the same field), is deeply committed to making a difference for our oceans and our plant. I admire her passion and drive! And of course, I could easily say that these issues are of great importance to me, but my actions suggest otherwise. If it were truly important, I would be subscribing to environmental organization websites, donating money or time to clean-up efforts, and making significant lifestyle changes. I do drive an electric vehicle (which we charge with solar power) and have made some efforts to reduce plastic usage. I don’t litter and I try to make eco-friendly choices. But my involvement stops there. While these actions show that the environment matters to me, they don't reflect the level of commitment that reflect true importance.

This distinction between what matters and what’s important is crucial. Something that matters to me might not always take precedence in my daily life. It’s not a clear priority, but it’s still a part of my value system. This nuanced understanding helps me reconcile my actions with my beliefs, freeing me from the guilt of not living up to an ideal I haven’t fully embraced.

My career serves as another example. There was a time when my career was incredibly important to me. I thrived on the challenges, the roles, the promotions, and the raises. Yet, over time, my priorities shifted. I realized that time was more valuable to me than money. I was tired of being "cash rich and time poor." This led to significant life changes. I sold my home, left my full-time job to travel for a year, and simplified my life considerably to reduce the income I needed to earn to sustain myself. Still, I had to return to occasional contract work to pay off debt in order to keep my income needs low.


Then, a miraculous thing happened! I met the love of my life just before the pandemic. We quarantined together and then retired together. The support and generosity of my husband has made it possible for me to focus on all of the things that are most important to me at this time in my life - my marriage, my daughters, travel, teaching yoga, and writing. I still marvel at how the simple act of choosing new priorities led me to a place where my life is abundant on all levels.


It makes me wonder - what if simply being in action about what is important to you creates the momentum to live your values in profound and unexpected ways? Just something to reflect on...

This concept applies to many areas of life. People often say that health, family, friends, or faith are important to them, but do their actions align with these declarations? It’s easy to state our values, yet much harder to consistently act upon them.


How many of us (including me) say health is important but skip workouts and opt for junk food? How many say that financial stability is a top priority, but engage in impulsive spending, rack up credit card debt, and fail to save for the future? How many people claim that their relationships are paramount but spend more time binge-watching TV or scrolling on their phone than they do engaging in meaningful dialogue or activities with loved ones?


It's not that there is anything necessarily "bad" or "wrong" about where we choose to focus our time and energy, but these examples highlight the gap that often exists between our stated values and our actions. Recognizing these discrepancies is the first step toward aligning our behavior with our true priorities. Reflecting on our actions (or lack of them) invites us to examine what is actually important to us.


One practical approach is to keep a time log for a week or two, noting where you spend our time. This exercise can be eye-opening, revealing whether you're investing your time in what you say is important or if you're actually prioritizing other activities.

If you discover a gap between your stated values and your actions, it’s worth exploring why. Maybe what you say is important to you actually isn't. This isn't a bad thing or something to judge yourself for. It's simply what is actually true for you. Or maybe fear, uncertainty, or even depression is holding you back and keeping you in a state of inaction. Perhaps you don’t know what steps to take. My advice - start small. Commit time and do something, even if it’s just one small action.

In the end, it’s about living authentically. By recognizing and embracing what genuinely matters to us, we can align our lives more closely with our values, creating a more fulfilling and honest existence. So, what do you say is important to you? And how can you begin to make it a true priority in your life?

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